Cricket
Kollywood movie:
Jadeja walks in to bat with boos from
the English crowd, Anderson is cheered as he comes to bowl. First four delivery
hits Jadeja in four different places, but blood comes only from the side of his
lips and the side of his temple. A song starts and Jadeja goes from 0 to 99
runs in that five minute song. Anderson, who hasn't bowled during this song(as
he had been sitting on a throne, a wineglass in his hands, with a voluptuous
lady doing an erotic dance for him (as seen in 80's movies) during the song), comes
back to bowl, with his henchmen, Broad, Stokes, Ali and Plunkett lying on the
ground with blood all over them.
Anderson launches a yorker, which
breaks Jadeja's ankles, making him fall down to the ground. All of Lord's
cheer, but Indian team is in tears. Sanjay Manjrekar comes to the Lord's
balcony and sings 'Singam Polae song', at the end of which Jadeja stands up,
fixes his ankles with just a twist (as in Ghilli movie, with a lightning strike
in the background).
Then he smashes a
Anderson's delivery into the air, only to be caught by a fielder, who to
everyone's surprise wears an Indian cap. It turns out it is actually Stuart
Binny still in the ground, not knowing that India's innings is over, since he
had been invited to be part of the playing XI, but was ultimately forgotten by
everyone, including the captain Dhoni.
Jadeja is declared to be
not out by Umpire Dharmasena, for which, Broad, still lying in a pool of blood
on the ground, calls for DRS. Dharmasena says there is no DRS as budget for
this movie is limited.
Jadeja grins and comes to
bat again and Anderson bowls another yorker, which is then hit for a six, bringing
Jadeja's first and perhaps the last century in his international test career.
English fans who had all along been haters of Jadeja, start to cheer him and
Anderson retires from cricket, citing depression.
As the movie ends, a pair
of hands comes to the front, 'En Iniya CSK makale', Srinivasan grins...
Assistant Director
proposal: "In between we can add a dream sequence, sir"
A dance sequence in Trent
Bridge pitch with Virat Kohli and Danielle Wyatt dancing to a Tamil Folk song, with
painted big pot-bellied men in the background is added to the movie. (Farookh
Engineer, Michael Gatting and Sir Henry Blofield lead the painted pot-bellied
men, jiggling their assets.)
Second Assitant director:
"Sir, sex sells. How about we add a sex scene in between?"
Piers Morgan and KP in bed,
cuddling each other naked, is added in the final edit.
- A. Prashanth Narasimhan
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